Naseeruddin: Bollywood Actors Behave Like Stars Even On Their Potty Seats

A conversation with Naseeruddin Shah is like a flight on auto-pilot mode - it takes its own course. Confabulating with him without an agenda is often the best conversation to have! Excerpts:

It's nearly a year since your autobiography, And Then One Day... came out. I wonder why you were that honest about yourself? No one is!
You are assuming that I was speaking the truth. It may have been a whole lot of gupping, a lot of invention. How would you know?


True, but Naseer and gupping don't match!
I thought if I am not to write about these things openly, then I may as well not write. And things that could have been embarrassing have been kept away. I have talked about some people who participated in my life but I have kept their dignity intact. The things that I revealed were not deep dark secrets about me. The deep dark secrets are still held up.

But what you exposed readers to, was found to be explicit by quite a few reviewers.
People who reacted like that are prudes. There are different standards of life for different people. For example, Dilip Kumar has not been very forthright but then, who the hell is curious about his romances yaar? What I wanted to know from his autobiography was how he grappled with the business of acting, how he learnt the craft and he has not written a bloody word about it. I think he's not even written it himself because there is nothing remotely interesting in it. I am not an actor of that standing like Dilip Kumar or Dev Anand that I need to guard certain areas of my life, and that is why I suppose the difference in my book and theirs.

What kind of reactions did you get for your book?
They say it's a best-seller. They have been asking for the second part. It took me 12 years to write the first part. So, I am not going to slip out the second part hurriedly. At the moment, I am translating it into Hindi. Sai Paranjpye is translating it into Marathi. There is a writer each, translating it into Kannada and Gujarati. I am hoping someone will offer to do it in Bengali. Those will come out in two-three years and then I will see if I want to write the second part. Honestly, I just don't want to.

Biographies are multiplying by the dozen in Bollywood but the subject matter seems to be too sanitised. Jwala Gutta for instance doesn't make it to Mohammed Azharuddin's biopic and the last world cup is cut out of MS Dhoni's biopic. What do you make of that?
These movies are made to make money. I liked Mary Kom. I detested Bhaag Milkha Bhaag. It was completely fake, shallow and bashing Pakistan for no reason. Everyone takes that comment of mine against Farhan Akhtar. Hello, an actor can't be better than the film he is in yaar. Of course, Farhan was good, except he didn't look like Milkha Singh, he looked like Rocky despite his efforts. Biographies of Kishore Kumar, Guru Dutt... we shouldn't even attempt them because they will all be hypocritical, white-washings of these very interesting people. I just wish someone sensible makes it, which I don't see happening because I can't think of a decent scriptwriter and a filmmaker who can pull it off.



But Anurag Basu and Ranbir Kapoor are making a film on Kishore Kumar.
I haven't read that script. But I don't think a commercial Hindi film would be able to accommodate the eccentricities of a person like Kishore Kumar. Maybe Dibakar Banerjee should attempt it. They should not make it. I don't think we have a filmmaker capable of making it or an actor capable of playing Kishore Kumar. He was a freak of nature, untrained musician, beautiful singer and composer. No one should touch the script.

Moving on to Bombay Velvet, Anurag Kashyap had offered the role of the villain to you which eventually went to Karan Johar.
Yes. (Smiles)

Did you see the film eventually?
No. (Laughs loudly) I gave up on the film when the role that I was supposed to do, was suddenly, without informing me, handed over to Karan Johar.

Isn't that unprofessional?
It's third rate behaviour. But I understand Anurag's reasons for doing it. He thought casting Karan Johar would get the film a lot of attention. Who would care if poor Naseer was acting in it? (Changing the tone of his voice) Karan Johar's acting debut...that got him publicity.


Also, don't you think the industry has become extremely fickle: one hit and you are on the top and one flop pulls you at the bottom of the list? People have not been kind to Anurag after Bombay Velvet.
That will happen to you when you spread yourself too thin like Anurag has done. I mean, two weeks before he was to shoot Bombay Velvet, he was shooting the wretched TV serial with Amitabh Bachchan. The show was rubbish. Then he was promoting Ugly and so many other smaller ventures that he was involved with. I don't know how someone can do so many things at once. Anurag has compromised all the way. I know he is very shaken with the film's result.

What should he do now?
I think he needs to do some serious navel gazing.

You mentioned Ugly sometime back. The film had a long tussle with the Censor Board over a no-smoking disclaimer. Do you think the board has regressed beyond recognition?
When did they ever make sense? Our board has always been a bunch of idiots. But then again, we can't blame the censor board for the bad quality films we make. We haven't improved at all as a filmmaking industry. There's not much difference between what we were making 104 years ago and now, except that the photography, editing and styling of the film has improved.

Coming back to your work, we don't see you doing as many films as say, a Rishi Kapoor does.
I don't hobnob with the film industry. I am not in that orbit of Rishi Kapoor. He was a star of a much bigger calibre than me. So, as a senior actor, it's no surprise that he is getting brilliantly written parts, but so am I. I don't covet what he's getting. I'm happy he's exploring himself as an actor. And I don't want to work round the clock. I want time for my farm, my kids, my theatre work. Any more films than what I am doing right now will be brain-damaging.

Isn't Welcome Back a brain-damaging experience for an actor like you?
Once in a while, an experience like that is actually quite good. But if you do one Welcome Back after another, then I suppose something will happen to you. I am sure it will make the mandatory Rs 100 crore, which is the intention of making such films. I don't know how it has turned out as a film though.

What kind of scripts attracts you?
A lot of the time, I see the cover and decide whether I'll read it or not. There is an annual convention of sending scripts to actors with their photos morphed on their respective characters. I have rejected all the scripts that I have received from that place. It clearly means the script is padded this way because it lacks substance. A Wednesday had come in a bundle of about 12. I discarded the others but instinctively kept Neeraj Pandey's work. And I read it. Within the first three scenes, you can tell whether it should be read any further. You can smell a good script!


Now, many Bollywood stars are making a conscious effort to go for script-driven films and attempt realistic films.
I think it's impossible to keep it real. It's a mistake that all these directors are making. They're all trying to cast stars in believable roles. The problem is that stars are supposed to be larger than life; they are not supposed to be believable. They should be predictable and give the audience what they want. They are not supposed to be shown with patched pants and stubble on their chin. They have to be Greek gods.

Go on...
Over 30 years, these people have trained in the art of being synthetic and have mastered it. I don't mean to run them down by saying that. You have to be synthetic to be a star. You can't have a hole in your socks and be a star! And now these filmmakers want these actors to act real! How can someone who has only learnt to be synthetic through their careers act real? They can't be real in their lives, forget in front of the camera. They act like stars even in their bedrooms and probably even on their potty seats. (Laughs) I am sure it's true. Expecting them to be real before the camera is stupid!

So, you think they should be unapologetically larger than life like Salman Khan is?
Yeah. Even Shah Rukh Khan and Amitabh Bachchan, Aamir Khan. They remain larger than life. No problem!

Moving on to your son Vivaan, he has been seen in bit roles in Bombay Velvet and Happy New Year. Wouldn't you have liked to launch him?
No. I don't want to make his life and his choices for him. What good did it do to a whole lot of stars who launched their kids? What good did it do to the kids, including the Kapoor sons? They were all launched by their fathers, and where are they? Those fathers were more resourceful and powerful than I can ever be. I would rather my sons made it on their own. If my sons can't do something worthwhile, they don't deserve it.


Is that why we never see you sucking up to a camp for getting them work?
As I said, I don't hobnob with the industry people. I don't think in 40 years, any film industry person has visited my house or I have visited theirs. There are exceptions. Danny Denzongpa is a dear friend of mine, so are Jackie Shroff and Tinu Anand. And I visit Shabana Azmi's home once in five years.

You were the face of parallel cinema. Do you think today, actors like Rajkummar Rao are really struggling hard to find their space in the commercial domain because parallel cinema has ceased to exist?
Actors like these will, sooner or later, find a place to go. They just have to hang in there. I mean look at someone like Nawazuddin Siddiqui. It has taken him over 20 years to finally find some footing in the industry. He didn't give up. He didn't become a drunkard or a bitter person. He gave his best to the smallest roles he played, like the ones he did in Sarfarosh and Black Friday. Rajkummar has no reason to complain. Opportunities are only increasing. It would have been unthinkable for Rajkummar to get a leading role had he tried 10 years ago.


Do you think Nawaz can become the next Naseer?
Why should he become the next Naseer? He'd better be the first Nawaz!