One, two, three, check check, mike testing. Cut to Moradabad initially, to be in the company of one Kishen Mohan Girhotra, a songster who beams that he has a dream. Scream, blare, that turns out to be nightmare.
Hence and ducks,
right off you want to know why Farhan Akhtar, the otherwise formidably gifted
director-actor, in that order, has been transferred to Lucknow
Central (Jail), stewarded by first-timer Ranjit Tiwari.
This spin on
musicians emerging from within prison walls is culled from facts, a tribute to
the Healing Hearts Band from the city of erstwhile nabobs who’d sup on
delectable kabobs. Sincere apologies, but the ensuing cuisine of muzak, prison
break plans and much ado-dah about violent rivarly between the cellmates is
enough to set off a tummy rumble. Grumble.
A Still From Lucknow Central
I tried my
darndest to connect with the body and soul of this Jail Yatra, only to find
that the most vital parts are missing. If Kishen dearest is wrongfully accused
of murdering an IAS officer, that’s just skimmed over. How he survives a week,
or so it seemed, without a morsel of a meal, boggles the imagination. How
his sentence for life imprisonment is declared peremptorily in a
cosy little court, aah that’s too comic to be true. Strange brew, this.
In any case, the
plot premise isn’t exactly novel. Forget the forgettable Yashraj banner’s Qaidi
Band. Vestiges of this devils-turned-singing-angels have alreay been
evidenced in Elvis Presley’s Jailhouse Rock (1957). Whoa, a compere even raves,
“Welcome to Jailhouse Rock 2017.” Gotcha. As for the business of reforming
hardened criminals, flashback kindly for a minute to V. Shantaram’s Do Aankhen
Baarah Haath (1957), inspired by an open experiment at a prison close to
Satara.
To return to the
beleagured inmate Kishen Mohan (Farhan Akhtar, natch), he’s a gunny bag of
contradictions. Amazingly naïve, he pretends to be speech-impaired to slide
into the cell meant for the handicapped. Doesn’t work. At other times, since
he’s a librarian’s son, he quotes the great mathematician Srinivasa Ramanujam’s
zero theory. Kya baat hai.
Farhan Akhtar Poses For A Picture In Lucknow Central
Indeed there’s
practically nothing on heaven and earth, Kishen can’t do, including planning a
Great Escape a la the Steve McQueen movie, carry out aankhon-aankon-mein tender
exchanges with the do-gooder NGO activist (Diana Penty, totally unconvincing in
a sketchy part), besides winning over the support of four oddball inmated
belonging to different regions (Deepak Dobiryal and Co) to become his
comrades-in-arms. A dhinkachika band is on. By now, your forehead requires a
variety of soothing balms.
Till the
intermission point, the pace crrrrrawls. Since, there’s still so much to wrap
up, the shorthand devices of montages, abbreviated scenes and ping-ponging
changes of heart subsume the dramturgy. Sigh, those arm-comrades on brief
parole, are disillusioned with the ravages of time. One discovers that
his beloved galfriend has been married off, another is told by his
daughter to capitalise on his popularity as a bandwalla, thanks to a viral
video clip on social media. A father’s struck by Alzheimer’s and miscellaneous
insults at home, are some of the other downers. Sad.
Meanwhile, the
band’s adversaries dominated by the paan-chewing jail chief (Ronit Roy, who
else?) as well as roughy-toughies galore are sought to be balanced by a Chief
Minister in paisley jackets (Ravi Kissan), who unusually exudes the sharbat of
human kindness. Now, if you can’t guess where this hokey-pokey stuff is limping
towards -- except to the floodlit stage for a jailbird music contest --
then congratulations for your endurance-cum-gullibility level.
Ronit Roy In Lucknow Central
Visually,
Lucknow Central is sufficiently polished. The Film Cityish jail set is at best
serviceable though. Predictably, shots of Lucknow vistas are intespersed for
that smidgen of authenticity. As for the music score, it’s neither hummable nor
recallable.
The No. 1 flaw
out here is the clumsily structured script replete with heavy duty dialogue on
the lines of, “A frog who remains within four walls of a well can’t taste the
air of freedom” and the zapper, “Even dreams are subject to taxation nowadays.”
Next, none from
the acting crew – despite their earnestness, stress and strain – rings true,
nope not even the diligent Mr Akhtar’s.
Diana Penty In Lucknow Central
Unsolicited
suggestion: Unless you want to feel like a Jail Bin Musical Machhli, avoid wading into these
troubled waters.
Image Source: instagram/lucknowcentral, instagram/farhanakhtar, youtube/viacom18motionpictures